This article was originally published on TheFunPost
Walmart: the land of low prices, an enormous selection of goods, and some of the strangest people you will ever meet. Whether you love or hate the retail chain, one look at these photos will convince you that there's no better place to catch the entire spectrum of human behavior, including the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright weird. So take a walk through Walmart's aisles for some of the wildest people-watching you'll ever experience.
Spotted: Mythological Creatures of Walmart
This unexpected variation on high-rise footwear (a 'heel-less heel') might actually take practice for even a supermodel to walk around in, so we're very impressed by this Walmart customer. Of course, all of that goes out the window when we process the fact that this person is dressed up like a centaur: the mythological creature with the upper body of a human and the legs of a horse. Now, it's a little strange.
That said, what would a podiatrist (foot doctor) say about this shoe choice? It seems like it would put an awful lot of strain on the mid-foot region.
Blue Onesies Are so Last Season
The onesie might very well be the most widely mocked item of clothing among a long list of universally acknowledged fashion 'don'ts.' But perhaps we should upgrade it to a fashion 'maybe?' After all, it keeps your whole body covered and warm in the winter; it's easy to throw on when you need to get dressed and out the door; and it's certainly more likely to bring a smile to anyone's face than a simple T-shirt and jeans would. We don't blame this couple for rocking their matching onesies while they shop for more.
If only this couple would be generous enough to share a photo of their closet. Is their collection of onesies organized by color, texture, or level of formality?
Man’s Second Best Friend
Walmart, of course, allows service animals in its store. But it typically does not permit other pets inside, be they of the more conventional type, like a dog, or a more unconventional type, like, for example, a possum. This customer apparently missed the memo on that front, and it would be great to see the colorful discussion he surely had with the store manager who tried to throw him and his beloved possum out.
For those of you who might also be considering adopting a possum, note that while they're not known to be particularly aggressive animals, they're generally not regarded as ideal pets. It's very difficult to recreate the forested environment they're accustomed to, and they may carry diseases dangerous to humans.
He's in the Right Section
We're not here to tell anyone how to dress; if you want to rock your pants closer to your angles, good for you! But we can't help but appreciate the irony of the man below checking out belts. Maybe he's decided saggy season is over, and it's time to pull those pants up and keep them there with a good old piece of leather.
Then again, maybe we're just coming to assumptions, and he's not even shopping for himself. Perhaps that belt is for his friend or child.
The Newest Denim Trend
This look might be a little too revealing for everyone’s taste, but you have to admire her willingness to dress boldly and take risks. And the construction of the denim is definitely intriguing. Are the shorts connected to the rest of the denim via small strips of fabric in the front? Or is the rest of the denim totally unconnected to the shorts, making them more like leggings? If only the photographer had asked her to turn around.
What if she matched the denim short shorts and leggings with a denim jacket? That would be eye-catching.
Hey There, Cowboy
While riding a horse into town may seem outdated, it’s certainly better for the planet than driving around in a car. And apparently, the horse can become an unexpected companion for other friendly animals trying to kill time while their owners finish shopping. In this case, how did the dog manage to get onto the horse in the first place? Did it jump from the blue metal bench? Shame no one filmed that scene in its entirety.
It’s tough to tell from a photo, but does the horse look a little underfed? Hopefully, Walmart has a good deal on, say, a bag of apples.
She Takes Social Distancing Very, Very Seriously
Some might find this Walmart shopper’s sign to be overly aggressive. But perhaps it’s better to be aware of their strict stance on social distancing from the outset? If not for the sign, who knows how many unlucky shoppers might enter the customer’s personal space, finding out they’ve made a huge mistake only after being pepper-sprayed and temporarily blinded. They take their health seriously, and they want you to as well.
The only flaw in the plan here is that those with poor eyesight will likely try to come closer to the sign in order to read what it says. Good luck to them.
Santa’s a Punker
The character of Santa Claus has been adapted by people of all shapes, colors, ages, national identities, and genders. But this punk rocker’s particularly memorable version deserves a special shout-out. Again, here’s another tip for Walmart’s advertising team: If he bought this outfit at Walmart—both the red velour Santa suit and the bottles and bottles of hairspray needed for the mohawk—he should really be hired to do a testimonial video for the store chain.
The truly confusing aspect of this photo is that none of the other customers appear to have stopped to praise his memorable costume. Maybe the image was snapped in between autographs?
A DIY Mask Like No Other
The Covid era has seen everyone spending money on masks, and while they’re not exactly expensive, a penny saved is a penny earned. Congratulations to this creative gentleman for getting crafty with his mask, which is not only homemade but easily recyclable and reusable. Just periodically disinfect it, and it can be worn again and again. And did you notice that he’s buying some more materials so his friends can try it out too?
Now he just needs to create a YouTube video explaining how to make a mask out of an old plastic water container.
License and Registration, Please
We understand not everyone wants a dog. But why did this person's pet turkey have to ride along to Walmart? Do turkeys often suffer from separation anxiety? Did its owner plan to bring it into the store itself, only to find out that the turkey was unwelcome? Is the turkey a form of security for the car, assuming no car thief would want to make their fast getaway with an angry bird pecking at them?
Note that while turkeys are more intelligent than they’re often stereotyped to be, they’re probably not quite smart enough to drive a vehicle. That, and they don’t have hands.
The Cashier of the Week Just Got Fired
Retail is a tough gig. You’re paid a low wage and yet have to deal with demanding and often angry patrons all day. And on top of that, you’re expected to somehow maintain your composure through everyone else’s mood swings. So kudos to Sam for making an impression on her customers. But there’s a fine line between being friendly toward customers and being naive. How unfortunate if someone actually exploited Sam’s kind service.
Hopefully, this self-reported thief was merely joking. But if Sam really did help walk out his stolen television, we have a feeling she's on the job hunt now.
Hopefully It’s a Short Shopping List
Not everyone grows into the ideal height that they might have dreamed of. But fortunately, there are solutions to that disappointment, at least if you can bear the discomfort of walking around all the time in high heels—or in the case of this Walmart shopper, very, very high heels. She took her natural height as merely a genetic suggestion and decided to complement her genes with footwear. She certainly won’t need a ladder at any point in her shopping trip.
Employees at this store might be wise to make sure she doesn’t try to steal the shopping cart on the way out, as it appears she’s using it to maintain her balance.
We Call This Entrepreneurship
It’s wise to take very good care of your knees, particularly as you advance in age. And for that reason, you never know when a soft set of knee pads will come in handy. What if you unexpectedly come across a tight cave tunnel that you’d like to explore? What if you fancy an impromptu game of volleyball? Fortunately, as this Walmart shopper demonstrates, a soft loaf of bread will do the trick if you leave your knee pads at home.
The only bummer here is that other shoppers will have to deal with the disappointment of buying squished bread.
Ma’am, That’s Not Juice
There are a number of other household uses for laundry detergent other than washing clothes, given that it can be applied as a helpful cleaning material for a wide range of fabrics. But although the liquid can be thought of as a multi-purpose cleaner, it should never be swallowed under any circumstance. We're glad this concerned citizen was present to stop the lady from finishing the entire bottle of laundry detergent.
Although we're still concerned about her thought process since apparently, she thought he was staring at her in shock because she was consuming something without paying for it, not because she was consuming a detergent.
If You Thought This Was a Woman, Look More Closely
Thought this was a woman? Wrong! It's obviously a Muppet in disguise. Look at her hair with the sunglasses and headband; do you see anything other than a muppet now? We don't. We see the Honey Monster or maybe even Animal the drummer (if he'd dyed his hair blonde, that is). Do you think the woman pictured here was aware of the coincidental combination brought on by resting her sunglasses in her hair just above her head?
While it’s important to maintain good posture, she should really dip her head down every few minutes just for the sheer joy it gives everyone around her.
They Needed a Break From the House
There are two possibilities here: 1. These two birds are highly picky eaters, and their owners prefer to bring them along when shopping rather than disappoint them by buying nuts that aren't to their taste. 2. Given that parrots are highly intelligent and communicative animals, maybe they indicated that they were getting bored at home and wanted an adventure? And what’s the harm in that? Just don’t let them out of their cages, particularly in the dry goods aisle.
Ok, a third possibility is that this Walmart actually sells pet birds, and these two shoppers livened up their trip with very exotic purchases.
Breaking News: First Dinosaur to Contract Corona
Why did this prehistoric creature wander into the local Walmart? Did someone tip the dinosaur off that the end times for his species are on the way, and if he wants to survive, he’ll have to stock up on enough food and water to last until after the dust settles? Actually, this could really be the basis of an effective advertising campaign for Walmart. Just pull out a camera and shoot the testimonial right on the spot.
And what’s with the mask? Is he fighting a bad cold and didn’t want to infect any of the other shoppers? What a considerate gesture. And to think his species is so often portrayed as violent and predatory.
When the Fashion Police Comes to Walmart
If this woman’s stance on ripped jeans isn’t already clear to you, let’s just say she’s not a big fan, and finds them highly unstylish. In her opinion, the pinnacle of style is to forget the usual accessories and instead wear a laminated sign around your neck. But what happens if she encounters a woman with a similar sign that refers to floral pants as ‘stupidity’? Do they fight each other with packets of ground beef?
Walmart might not be the best place to insult other shoppers’ clothes; the mega-retailer is known, after all, for selling all sorts of things.
When You Call 911 for Your Cover-Up Story
It may seem a bit odd to praise a criminal, but you have to hand it to this particular thief: Her idea for getting the stolen goods out of Walmart was original if nothing else. The idea of getting escorted out of the store by 911? Genius. And while the person who posted this story referred to the thief as ‘stupid,’ she could very well have gotten away with her trick if she had only been a better actress and given a more convincing impression that she was suffering a medical emergency.
Maybe security would not have checked her bags if she’d caused a more chaotic scene? Just because it didn’t work the first time doesn’t mean she won’t try it again.
Gardening Dads of Walmart
Given that Walmart employees are paid such low wages, it’s not entirely surprising that care for the store’s thirsty plants apparently falls upon the volunteer labor of Walmart’s actual customers. Perhaps everyone working in the garden department was on strike at the time this photo was taken? That or Walmart simply fired them all as yet another cost-cutting measure and forgot that the plants couldn’t survive without regular maintenance.
Regardless of the reason, we're happy this dad of Walmart got some gardening therapy.
Cute or Codependent?
While some might find this couple’s expression of love to be sweet, others might find it slightly alarming. The ability to form close relationships is generally a sign of normal, healthy functioning and is recognized as a positive trait by psychologists. But forming overly close relationships—for instance, becoming completely inseparable from your partner and needing to inform everyone that you are bound to him/her at all times—could be considered a positive expression taken way too far.
Though they’re clearly very attached to one another, this couple does at least seem to show independence in their color choices: The shades of purple used for their shirts are slightly different. So let’s give them that.
Time to Downsize
Suspenders have developed a reputation today for being very old-fashioned, as well as relatively inconvenient compared to belts. But if you feel attached to suspenders and can’t throw them out of your wardrobe, at least reevaluate the pants that they’re holding up. Most suspenders come with one or two straps in the back; if you need five straps, it may be a sign that your pants are disproportionately heavy.
One good thing about shopping in an enormous store like Walmart is that if while you’re picking out your deli meats, you suddenly realize you need a belt, you can probably find one in a nearby aisle.
Ready to Take on the Plague
Have you ever wondered what a Walmart might look like in the 17th century? Wonder no more! Anyway, given that this masked patron is attempting to purchase alcohol, wouldn’t the Walmart employee ringing up the sale be required to ask them to remove the plague mask in order to match their face to their photo ID? Hopefully, they took that into consideration before they chose to wear the outlandish mask; maybe it’s surprisingly easy to remove and put back on.
Did this customer start wearing a plague mask in response to Covid, or was this always just their standard outfit anytime they went to Walmart? The latter seems possible.
Walmart Is a Religion
In the United States, a child goes missing or is abducted every 40 seconds, and there are usually over 300,000 missing children reported every year. Public awareness of who these children are and what they look like is key to increasing the odds that they’ll be found. Given that it’s a store with a heavy amount of foot traffic that attracts people from many sectors of society, Walmart is well-positioned to offer critical exposure to these kids’ cases.
While prayers might not be as effective as sending information or leads to the police, surely the families of the missing children on this sign appreciate the boy’s gesture.
Please Buy What You Bite
While the idea of eating a bar of soap might seem absolutely absurd and dangerous to most folks, it may surprise you that there are actually edible soaps out there made from completely natural materials, like shea butter, for instance. But is this particular bar of hemp soap safe to bite into? That’s unclear. When in doubt, best not to taste, particularly if you don’t plan on ultimately buying what you took a bite of.
Perhaps the biter here was a child who mistook the soap for some sort of green tea dessert? Then again, this is Walmart, where anything can happen.
Straight to the Fish Aisle
Cats are often very independent animals, and they can certainly be picky eaters. But no matter how much your feline insists on doing its own shopping, it’s probably best not to give it your credit card and send it off to the store alone. Get ready for an enormous bill after your cat buys every can of tuna within a 10-mile radius and follows that up by purchasing all the birds in Walmart’s pet department.
And furthermore, no matter how determined the kitty might be, it will still struggle to carry everything out of the store on its own.
Wash Instructions: Dry Clean Only
Taste is certainly very subjective. Some might find a black suede finish for a car to be absolutely unsightly; others might think it looks sleek and modern. But practicality is a less subjective matter. What happens when it rains? Doesn’t that discolor the suede? And how exactly do you go about cleaning it after it’s been exposed to dust over time? It doesn’t seem like the kind of material you’d want to run through the carwash.
This car certainly seems very high maintenance, and high maintenance is typically costly. Perhaps that’s why its driver decided to shop at Walmart? They have to save where they can.
The Fact That This Is Necessary Is Just so Concerning
Wait, this is truly shocking: The store had to hire an employee to guard a single refrigerator at all times so that people don’t open ice cream packages and randomly lick them before assumedly placing the lids back on the ice cream and continuing to shop as if nothing happened? What has America come to? Well, at least this man is only armed with a toy gun.
Hopefully, the ‘licker’ phenomenon is limited to children under the age of, say, four. If any grown adult has ever randomly opened a pack of ice cream to take a lick, they should face jail time.
Parking Lot Full? No Problem
This driver could probably avoid punishment for their parking offense by claiming ignorance. After all, the sign simply says, ‘Thank You’; it doesn’t say ‘This is reserved for shopping carts only. Do not park here under any circumstance.’ And anyway, maybe the driver’s impressive willpower makes up for the inconvenience they caused to other shoppers: How on earth did they manage to get in and out of their car, given the narrow space between the car door and the metal rail? Through the trunk?
If this happens regularly, perhaps Walmart should simply consider modifying these kinds of spaces by making them too narrow for cars.
We Really Hope This Person Just Works at the Zoo
Potassium deficiencies can lead to a number of health problems, like high blood pressure, poorly defined muscles, and fatigue. But no potassium deficiency could be so severe as to necessitate the purchase of several hundred bananas at one time. So that leaves the alternative possibility that this Walmart shopper was stocking up on lunches for the monkey pen at the local zoo. Hopefully, they diversified the diet with some other fruits and/or leaves.
Monkeys aside, maybe the shopper recently migrated from an area where bananas are extremely scarce, like the Arctic Circle?
Santa Came in Disguise
While a lot of (justifiable) hate is directed at Walmart, its low prices can occasionally be a source for good deeds. Who knows if this kind soul would have had the budget to carry out this generous act every year if he had to purchase the stuffed animals at some expensive toy store. He certainly wouldn’t be able to afford the same number of stuffed animals elsewhere, and it’s likely the gesture that counts for the kids in the hospital more so than the quality of these plush gifts.
Just think: What kind of a place would our world be if one person like this existed in every city where Walmart’s 10,000+ stores are located?
Long Lost Sisters Reunited at Walmart, the Most Magical Place on Earth
Remember that feeling of endless boredom you would get as a child when your parents took you on long shopping trips to the local department store? These adorable kids solved that problem quickly when they bonded over their mutual flair for costumes. How refreshing to be reminded that children are able to connect with other human beings over the smallest things they have in common. Why can’t adults be the same way?
And by the way, perhaps Walmart should consider incorporating some sort of play corner for kids into all of its stores. Would adults end up buying more or less on each trip?
We All Have Different Needs
Have you ever heard the quote, ‘Tell us what you eat, and we’ll tell you what you are?’ Well, perhaps that could be updated today to, ‘Tell us what you buy at Walmart, and we’ll tell you what you are.’ Some feel prepared for whatever may come their way only if they’re completely stocked up on the essentials, like water, paper towels, and toilet paper. Others feel like they can take on the world as long as they have a light buzz.
To be completely honest, the beer-drinkers cart does seem a bit empty. What’s a case of Corona without some chips and salsa? Or hot wings?
This Little Piggy Just Wanted Company
It’s unclear if this porker was lovingly placed next to his slaughtered, packaged cousins by a clever Walmart employee or by a clever Walmart shopper. Either way, it’s a good ‘circle of life’-type lesson for kids to learn at a young age, and it might either inspire them to respect and think about the meat that they eat a bit more or to become vegetarians entirely. Now they just need a miniature cow to place next to beef products as well as a hen for the poultry section, and they’re well on their way to a cute, new, storewide theme.
On the sanitation front, hopefully, the toy pig was lifted from another part of the (relatively clean) store rather than brought from some random person's home. But at least the pork products it's nuzzled up against are packaged.
If This Robot Could Talk
A cleaning robot at Walmart must see a wide range of funny, scary, and bizarre incidents during any given week on the job. If only the robot could be trained to take photos of the most peculiar customers and scenarios it comes across and then post them to an Instagram account. Its followers would surely be in the millions, some of whom would probably just be curious to see what ties and hats the robot is dressed in from day to day.
And really, a robot might be Walmart’s version of a dream employee. They’ll never ask for a living wage, and it seems unlikely that they’ll ever try to unionize.
He's Been Masking at Walmart Since Before the Pandemic
This shopper apparently elected to wear a mask into Walmart long before it became commonplace in the Covid era. And while fellow shoppers may have been weirded out by his behavior, they shouldn’t have been. Perhaps he identifies with the social norms of some East Asian cultures, in which it has long been a form of common courtesy to wear a mask anytime you feel sick—an informal rule that protects public health.
The question is: Did he wear the mask to prevent spreading his cold to others, or was he perfectly healthy and just sees Walmart as being disease-infested?
Maybe One Day They’ll Identify as ‘Sparkles’
A bit of irony may be lost on this truck driver. Camouflage was invented as a means of blending in with the background so as to go unnoticed. But a truck that has been entirely repainted in camouflage colors will clearly stand out from every other vehicle on the road. Sigh. Judgemental and unaccepting as it may sound, do you think the driver’s parents thought, ‘hopefully, this call me Camo thing is just a phase?'
Perhaps this photo is easily misinterpreted, and the truck’s driver’s name is actually Camille? But, of course, their close friends can call them Camo for short.
A Big Selfie Moment
Working in retail security can actually be a fairly stressful job, and the Walmart security team likely sees its fair share of action on any given day. So in all likelihood, they were happy for the laugh that this grinning, creative customer gave them, even if it did momentarily block their view of the store’s layout. That said, if customers repeatedly make the same goofy faces in the security camera all day, every day, then that could quickly turn from amusing to annoying.
Did the smiling photographer use some sort of filter to create the odd, carnival hall of mirrors-type effect? Or is that just the result of the close perspective of the camera and his particularly toothy grin?
Red, White, and Misspelled
How exactly did this young man know what a pterodactyl (note the spelling), which went extinct around 150 million years ago, sounded like? Whatever may have inspired him to recreate that particular animal sound, the noise that he tried to make was assumedly rather loud and disturbing for the other customers. But then again, a complete disregard for public volume levels does fall in line with the stereotypical Walmart shopper.
Or perhaps it’s unwise to stereotype Walmart shoppers at all. Maybe the man in question was a paleontologist and had done extensive research into pterodactyl’s vocal cords.
Welcome Home Jaime
Anyone who has helped an immigrant prepare for their citizenship exams knows that Jaime’s accomplishment is certainly something to be proud of. Aside from needing to pass an English test (speaking, reading, and writing), applicants must also pass a civics test, which consists of 20 randomized questions about the U.S. government’s structure, American history, and American culture. A frequent criticism of the test is that most U.S. citizens by birth would likely fail to pass it without significant preparation.
Depending on Jaime’s age and the amount of time he’s been living in the U.S., he may, fortunately, be eligible for a simplified version of the test.